Friday, February 14th, 2003
|
|
10:21 pm
|
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<font=ms>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <font=ms gothic><small>I've wandered off. For good. Adieu. Sayonara. Au Revoir. </font></small>
|
|
(2 backdoor whore s | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Friday, February 7th, 2003
|
|
9:52 pm
|
A. Alan is a cat.
B. I finally found my hat.
C. I lost my sex drive.
D. I cannont eat grapefruit.
current mood: quixotic
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
|
9:27 pm I'm not going to let them make me cry anymore.
|
I am not going to cry anymore.
I sit here, my glasses tear-stained, my dinner cold and uneaten. Needing a shower, my extremities so cold I fear they will fall off. But I'm not going to cry anymore. And I'm going to listen to those who care about me.
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
12:56 am
|
He tells me to smile. And I burst into tears.
So...so angry, and sad, and lonely at the same time.
I need new friends. I need...friends. I need...to learn to accept myself.
current mood: depressed
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
|
7:28 pm How long is the pain going to last?
|
Aparently forever.
It's just going to keep hiding, then coming back when my happiness goes away.
I wish I knew why everyone I know feels that it's ok to just hurt me.
I try so god-damn hard to be good. I try so god-damn hard to be good to people that I'm with. But. Yeah. I guess I'm just the worthless piece of shit that I've always thought I was.
Yeah. Fuck you all too.
current mood: crushed
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, January 15th, 2003
|
|
10:52 pm
|
WOOT!
Level 14 in EQ.
Bout damn time.
Other than that. My life is uneventful. And I start work at Comic City tomorrow at 10 am.
current mood: okay
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
1:55 am My letter to the Conan O'Brian show.
|
Ok.
This is not important.
But as a gamer geek, it must be said.
Tonight on "Actual Items" Conan showed a flyer of video game advertisments. The quote was on a picture of Samus from Metriod Prime.
Conan said "This is a superhero, and he's saying must...kill...elderly..."
Samus is a girl.
And that's my 2 cents worth.
*LMAO* Wow. I AM a geek.
current mood: geeky
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Tuesday, January 14th, 2003
|
9:58 pm Oh I'm going to fucking kill my PC.
|
I wrote a journal entry, a LONG journal entry. And my PC died...just as I was about to post it...
Let's sum it up. I bought 3 movies, 4 cd's and ate dinner at Stir Crazy.
Boondock Saints Brotherhood of the Wolf (Le Pacte Des Loups) Dogma
Fastball - All the Pain Money Can Buy Matchbox 20 - Yourself or Someone Like You T.A.T.U. 300 KM/H on the Wrong Lane Vertial Horizan - Everything You Want.
current mood: irritated
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
3:17 am I have a car, no cerfew, and house keys, what more do I need?
|
Showed up at Wizards of the Coast at 4:55. Ready to play D&D with Rob and co. Daren is already there, looking through his LOTR cards. (Of course) And since Rob hadn't showed up to set up, he called him "Rob are we playing tonight...no?"
Not again. I drove ALL the FUCKING way to the mall AGAIN! Just to be told we're not playing again. This has happened to me like 5 times. "Well we can come over...I'll bring Basco"
YAY! We're playing! So after wandering around the mall for 2 minutes (I explained to Daren that my bag was heavy and I wasn't wandering any longer) Daren takes me to Rob's house in Utica. Rob, Jessica, Amber (Who was there, and being an idiot while playing Kingdom Hearts...it's an EASY game you twit!) and Daren helped Rob move from across the street to where they're living right now, I am useless, and I sat on the couch.
Then Chuck and his girlfriend showed up, and we watched Boondock Saints. Wahahah. Bloody, but amazing. Now on my list of things I need. (Current AMERICAN list of things I need : Boondock Saints Brotherhood of the Wolf* Dogma Ferngully
Fastball - Idon'tknowwhatthehelltheiralbumiscalled. Matchbox 20 - Yourself or someone like you T.A.T.U - All the Things She Said**
*French >_> **Russian...SHUT UP!)
Rob cooked Golash (Gulash?) which was more like chili than italian food. Made with chili powder and MEDIUM salsa (anthing hotter than mild kills me) I tried some, my mouth died. They suggested that I put sweet & low in it to tone it down. I did. My mouth was still dead. I apoligized and said my mouth was stupid, and ate crackers and white chedder cheese spread. Jessica told me to be gentler with the crackers, after breaking half a dozen...they were stale, what can I say.
We look through "Cats In the Sun" which is a huge book full of pictures of cats in Greece. Chuck narrated. Always good to have a trained actor around. Then Chuck leaves. Pussy.
After 20 minutes of constant set-up. D&D starts. I had a ball, it was fun...I did some serious damage...and used up all my spells. We play from 10pm - 1:30 am. Then Daren drives me back to the mall. When we're talking, he mentions that he didn't like my vulgarity. Yeah. So I swear, a lot. I can't help it. I grew up around it. I don't do it on purpose. Well fuck him anyway. He's a 17 year old high school studant male. And I know for a fact, that even if he has a higher IQ than me, he won't be nearly as mature as me for 5-10 years from now. I gave him 10 dollars for gas money, and pretended that his little comment didn't bother me. But it REALLY did. He shouldn't judge me like that. He has no right.
Rosi...needs my help. I see so much of myself in her. She's me when I'm depressed. And she pretends just as well as I do.
And you know what?
I have a very old soul.
current mood: enlightened
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Monday, January 13th, 2003
|
2:20 am I haven't had so much fun in weeks.
|
I LOVE driving home at 1 am! There's NO ONE on the road! Safest time in the world I think...except for fucking animals.
Went to the "Christmas" party at Wizards of the Coast. I didn't get my gift, but I had gotten in a week earlier due to Wayne thinking that a guest had left it behind. It was a 6 inch clip on GIR. I gave Amber her fairy pyjamas, which match her hair now...both purple. I brought the only food there. Devils Food Glazed Donut Holes, Snickerdoodles, and a "Go Snacks" tube thing of Honey Barbaque Fritos which were SUPPOSED to be MINE but Eric ate nearly all of them.
We played Apples to Apples for HOURS. The cards you end up winning, they say that they discribe your personallity. Eric and I tied in the end for 14 cards a piece. YOu usually play until 7, but we played until we were down to 5 people, and 2 more were leaving.
My words were Colorful Luxurious Soft Outragous Expensive Creative Timeless Lucky Delicious (Which Eric licked my hand..with lots of spit >_<) Awkward Cheesy (The card I won that one with was MICE) Honorable Feminine and Cool.
Then when everyone but Dani, Eric and I had left, we played Fluxx. Great, awesome, fucking cool game. I'm getting a copy for the house. I only won once. But I had a great time. I did some nasty stuff *L* Eric called me a cunt, and a fucking whore *L* So basically, I'm good to stab people in the back.
It was great. Eric heard a song from across the hall...and said "I love this song, but no-one ever knows who it's by" I said "It's not Human League is it" hehe. It was. Damn good.
Eric is my friend. He's such a great guy.
This song reminds me of me
Could I Be You
Something is wrong With the sum of us That I can't seem To erase How can I be The only one Without a smile On my face When now
You're laughing out loud At just the thought of being alive And I was wondering Could I just be you tonight
You show your pain Like it really hurts And I can't even Start to feel mine I'm standing in place With my head first I shake and I shake And I see your progress Stretched out for miles and miles
You're laughing out loud At just the thought of being alive And I was wondering Could I just be you tonight
This is the sound that I make These are the words I chose Somehow the right thing to say Just won't come out Just won't come out
And you're laughing out loud At just the thought of being alive And I was wondering Could I just be you tonight
That just sounds so much like me...I hate myself so much...but a lot of people think I'm absolutly wonderful...it's...very odd to think of...it's very hard to give worth to myself. No matter how happy I am...or how may people tell me they love me...it's hard to see worth inside of me.
"You're laughing aloud at the thought of being alive And I was wondering, could I just be you tonight?"
So many people love me...and yesterday I was considering suicide. God that's Profound.
current mood: thoughtful
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Sunday, January 12th, 2003
|
|
2:53 am
|
The Sims Online makes everything better. No more suicide thoughts. I'm so much better now.
current mood: content
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Saturday, January 11th, 2003
|
|
9:28 pm
|
|
ok...update...I think I'll be ok. I just need to talk to Tricia...
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
9:08 pm
|
I tried to write my suicide note. I cried too much. Now that I look at the knife...it's really sharp. God damn it. I don't know if I can do it. I really hope I can. hurts so much...so much so much...I've cried so much...I just...I pray I have the strenght.
current mood: dead
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
7:02 pm
|
|
Can't...just...can't...there's nothing here for me...nothing...so hard...so hard to go on....can't...no more...no more....Just so...so hard...
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
6:49 pm You're so pretty when you smile...so how come you don't?
|
I just realized something today. No one would look twice at me unless I smiled.
And I haven't smiled in a week and a half.
For a while I'ver looked as if I were perpetually going to cry. And it's how I've felt too.
In fact. Yeah. Let's cry a little now.
I...have no more self worth. I'm lower than scum. I'm lower than rapists. I'm lower than murderers.
God I can only pretend to be happy for so long.
I can only give fake smiles, and fake laughs for so long.
And today I broke.
It's Amanda's birthday party. I'm not going. It would take all of my strenght just to look at her and not burst out in tears...and I don't want to ruin her birthday party.
Tricia hates me. And...I just don't know if I can go on anymore. Maybe I'll do it tonight. I stay up until 3 am anyway. I could just go into the kitchen and slit my wrists with the butcher knife. It'd be so easy, and all my pain would be gone. I would only have to cut both major veins in my wrists...and I'd bleed to death. I'd lie down on the floor, so I wouldn't fall and make noise...so they couldn't find me in the middle of the night and take me to the hospital. They wouldn't find me until at least 7 am. And I should be dead by then. Maybe I'm strong enough to actually do it this time...
current mood: suicidal
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, January 8th, 2003
|
|
8:34 pm
|
|
Next time, just tell me that you don't want to talk to me.
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Tuesday, January 7th, 2003
|
9:55 pm O-N-G-I-R-I!!!!!
|
I have an automatic rice COOKER! Yay! It was only $23. Because I got a mall discount. Wonderful.
Amanda's birthday party is Saturday...and I offered to show up after work...quothe Amanda "I don't know if you'll like who's there, but I'd like it if you came"
Rosi and I went out for a while today, we ate at Stir Crazy, and I introduced her to the Godliness of Asian Tiramisu, she imidatly asked if she could marry it, like any sane person would. I bought a few new things...chapstick, a gift for Amber, and the new issue of Animerica. Fun...tomorrow...I'm going somewhere with Meggan, and on friday, Meggan and I are going to see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets again(again for me, first time for her) Need...Everquest...aaah...the crack compells me...
current mood: tired
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
3:20 pm
|
|
I'm never taking my clothes off for anyone again...fucking stretch marks. I hope this new medcation helps me lose weight...
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Monday, January 6th, 2003
|
10:50 pm From what I've seen...I'm just one more Hand-me-down...
|
I'm really glad I'm medicated. Because if I wasn't. I think I would've killed myself this last week, and possibly in this upcoming week, if I hadn't done it already. My is my love life in such shambles. It's...so...so very hard to meet lesbians. And my other option? Start dating guys? It'd be so much easier if I didn't love girls.
current mood: crushed
|
|
(2 backdoor whore s | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Sunday, January 5th, 2003
|
|
8:06 pm
|
I'm lonely.
current mood: lonely
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
5:54 pm
|
I'm just gonna crawl under myself and hide.
current mood: depressed
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Saturday, January 4th, 2003
|
12:50 am Go figure.
|
|
|
Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
|
|
9:48 pm
|
I managed not to cry for a whole day.
Now...I just don't know.
I figured, I'll subscibe to PlanetOut, I'll meet girls in the area. And go on dates right away.
But...how much will that hurt Amanda? And how much will it hurt me?
current mood: pensive
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
6:50 pm Sleeping another day away
|
And that's exactly what I did.
Woke up at 1:30, and back to sleep at 3, woke up again at 6:30. Boy I live a drastically boring life.
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
1:08 am
|
Niimura Kipsy: Nyo. honeysaliva: Nyo. Niimura Kipsy: NYO! honeysaliva: NYO! Niimura Kipsy: hehe ^.^ honeysaliva: :D Niimura Kipsy: *Dansu* honeysaliva: *eats food* Niimura Kipsy: o.o *Steals food* honeysaliva: O.o honeysaliva: my chocolate. Niimura Kipsy: my chocolate! honeysaliva: MINE! Niimura Kipsy: MINE! *hisses* honeysaliva: i got it for christmas...;-; Niimura Kipsy: ...*gives you some back* honeysaliva: there was only one piece ;-; Niimura Kipsy: ...but I ate it... honeysaliva: damn you
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
12:15 am
|
I wonder how you sleep I wonder what you think of me If I could go back Would you have ever been with me I want you to be unleashed I want you to remember I want you to believe in me I want you on my side
Come on and lay it down I've always been with you Here and now Give all that's within you Be my saviour, and I'll be your downfall
Here we go again Ashamed of being broken in We're getting off track I want to get you back again I want you to trouble me I wanted you to linger I want you to agree with me I want so much, so bad
Come on and lay it down I've always been with you Here and now Give all that's within you Be my saviour, and I'll be your downfall
Be my saviour (only love can save us now Love lay me down Only love can save us now) I'll be your downfall (My love can save us now Love save me now)
Lay it down I've always been with you Hear me now With all that's within you Be my saviour, and I'll be your downfall
current mood: pensive
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
12:04 am
|
Be my savior, and I'll be your downfall
current mood: complacent
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, January 1st, 2003
|
|
9:33 pm
|
My proverbial wounds have been licked And my proverbial scars treated And I wonder How when just hours ago I thought I'd never be alive again How joy has wormed its way into this pain How I can look at the sky and smile And be ok But yet, I am.
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
9:20 pm Meggan and Jessie have switched brains
|
Meggan - "This guy at McDonalds was hitting on me, and he wouldn't leave me alone, so I told him I didn't date convicts"
Jessie - "We could just drive to Japan!"
Jessie - "Well we don't want to come home when they're knockin' boots" Meggan - "I thought you'd use something nicer than 'knockin' boots' like 'They will be indisposed' I like that word, indisposed"
We are huge geeks. We went to Meijers, and bought 10 dollars worth of sushi rice. Then we went to Stir Crazy and ate asian food. Asian Tiramisu is god. Much better than regular Italian Tiramisu.
We are going to see The Two Towers on Friday, and tomorrow I'm not really sure. But ok.
current mood: calm
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
1:16 pm I'm sad, but I'm alive. And that's what really matters.
|
I talked to Amanda on the phone today. And it wasn't me. It was her parents. She told me not to wait for her, and she told me to date, and find someone wonderful, beautiful and rich who will sweep me off my feet.
And I vow to stay friends with her. I'll still come over a few times a month, we'll go to the mall, we'll see movies, but we just can't be together right now. I'm sad. But I'm alive. And...I have a feeling of inner peace, and a huge ache in my stomach because I haven't eaten.
And, I will not cry anymore. I'm over that. And I will still wear the ring she gave me, just not on my ring finger.
But it's a new year, and a new start. And I will find a new love, and new friends. Because I am stronger than I was 2 years ago. And I have people who love me.
current mood: gloomy
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Tuesday, December 31st, 2002
|
|
8:15 pm
|
I'm so cold.
I feel dead inside.
current mood: crushed
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
8:04 pm I've stopped crying.
|
And I thought I was finished. Until I read Panda's journal.
Then, a few tears fell. And I tried to compose myself again.
She broke up with me.
And...I feel lower than dirt.
Out of the reasons..."You hate my parents..." "You hate my friends" "You like little boys..."
What kind of monster am I?
current mood: crushed
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Monday, December 30th, 2002
|
8:49 pm Yay for being lazy.
|
I woke up today, and 3 pm. 3 PM. Of course I went to bed at maybe 4 am. Then, at 5 I went back to sleep, after trying to call Amanda at 4, then at 5 as I said I was going to yesterday. Evidently noon to whenever means, noon to an unreasonably late time, where she probably won't be able to call me. Well I hope you're having fun Panda bear ^.^ Just please try to get ahold of me.
I'm a lazy bum ^.^
Tomorrow, I work from 2 to close. And close on a New Years Eve, is 6 pm. So, yeah.
current mood: bored
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Sunday, December 29th, 2002
|
|
11:00 pm
|
Oh, by the way. My mother bought Amanda and I the smallest cake I've ever seen in my life. It was chocolate, tiny and covered in thick white and green frosting. It was our "Happy Three Month Anniversary" cake. So cute.
current mood: touched
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Saturday, December 28th, 2002
|
11:33 pm I've forgotten how much I loved Boy George
|
If I could fly
Stone by the river Got no wind in my sails No revolutions in my soul Hey revelations just a moment away Soon I'm gonna be old Soon you're gonna be old
Remember love is not something you can keep It just takes the wind to blow it away You look so ugly as you lie there asleep Boy you're pretty today So pretty today
When I was born They poisoned my mind They told me to fight But I'm not that kind They said I was meek But I did not mind It's a case of the weak Leading the blind
I see the stars have spelt your name in the sky I wrote it too down in the sand When I first met you You stirred nothing at all See the cards in your hand See the cards in your hand
Oh, if I could fly Oh, if I could fly I'd take to the sky
I feel so special when I'm making you cry But I regret the things I throw in your face This drug will kill you darling This is no lie This dragon we chase This dragon we chase
When I was born They poisoned my mind They told me to fight But I'm not that kind They said I was meek But I did not mind It's a case of the weak Leading the blind
Oh, if I could fly Oh, if I could fly I'd take to the sky
( More lyrics )
current mood: touched
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
8:09 pm Today, was considerably better.
|
I figured out what my problem was yesterday.
I didn't drink a Red Bull.
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Friday, December 27th, 2002
|
|
10:19 pm
|
Update - Working tomorrow from 12-5/6 Sunday, is free.
I feel better. And Nacho Cheese Rice Cakes are nasty.
current mood: cold
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
8:38 pm
|
I think I'm going to be sick.
I have never been this depressed or upset about anything.
I got off of work early...for NO REASON.
Then sat in my car in the mall parking lot, and cried, until my voice was hoarse, and I had no tears left.
The incessent ringing when I dial the phone is driving me insane.
As is the thought of going to work tomorrow.
Why?
Why do I keep pushing?
When all it does is cause me pain?
current mood: depressed
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
7:09 pm
|
Today, I sobbed uncontrolably.
current mood: crushed
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Thursday, December 26th, 2002
|
10:20 pm Amanda.
|
I know that I'm not the first one You've had love in your path before me But when your lips touch my lips it felt Like I was kissing destiny
Angel eyes With your angel eyes Will you always be there to hold me? Angel eyes With your angel eyes I don't want to hear your story Cause I can see the things I really want to see I am in love
I believe in what I'm feeling I'd give everything up just for you Love is devoted to those who see That the last dance you dance with the truth
Angel eyes With your angel eyes Will you always be there to hold me? Angel eyes With your angel eyes I don't want to hear your story Cause I can see the things I really want to see In your eyes
Angel eyes Just want you here to hold me
Angel eyes With your angel eyes Will you always be there to hold me? Angel eyes With your angel eyes I don't want to hear your story Cause I can see the things I really want to see I am in love.
current mood: happy
|
|
(1 backdoor whore | scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
8:47 pm The REAL loot
|
Special 5 disc, comes with the two kings bookends, Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Rings set. Are you being served, entire 34 episodes. A 30th Anniversary, 2cd Edition of David Bowie's " The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars" (1) Boy George - Classic Masters (2) David Bowie - 2 disc Single Collection WITH LYRICS YES! David Bowie - Heathen (Are we seeing a pattern here?) Exalted RPG book which somes with a disclaimer -"This is not the secret history of the world, you do not have super powers, do not hit your loved ones with swords" I My Me! Stawberry Eggs - Pop Quiz Yu Yu Hakusho - The Dark Tournment Begins Yu Yu Hakusho - Seven Ways to Die Yu Yu Hakusho - The Beasts of Maze Castle His and Hers Circumstances - Love and War under the Cherry Blossoms Love Hina - And the Winner IS? Inu Yasha - A Girls Best Friend Lilo And Stitch Suikoden III *Happy Squeak* CardCaptor Sakura Manga #4 Peach Girl 3 Peach Girl 4 Ranma 1/2 14 Best of all? A 40 postcard set All Sandman, Death or related characters. Oh. How. Sexy. $100 from my dad $100 from my grandparnts on my dad's side.
(1) - Which proves, that David Bowie, is a sexy, sexy bitch. (2)Boy George ignited my love of crossdressers.
current mood: fullfilled
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Wednesday, December 25th, 2002
|
10:58 pm Stuff.
|
Two parts to this.
Part 1: The loot.
Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail - DVD. Not only with 24 glorious extra seconds, but with JAPANESE DUBBING OPTION!!! from Amanda A coffee cup, handpainted by Anya. How sweet of her. 2 Coffee cups, and some "hard drive coffee" Also from Amanda. A Kitten a day calender friggen adorable, from Meggan. Punk Hello Kitty from Rosi Clove perfume oil from Rosi as well A Mickey Mouse nightgown from Lana and Steve A 25 dollar gift certificate for Hot Topic from Danielle and co. Another calander (wizards this time) from Danielle and co. $300 from Mom
There is no gift from Dad on there, because I won't see him until tomorrow..
Part 2. Dinner at Amanda's house. When I work up, there was a HELL OF A LOT of snow. 3-4 inches. Amanda tried her damndest to tell me not to come. For it was TOO DANGEROUS. But when I got on the road, it wasn't that bad. We watched "Brotherhood of the Wolf" which is a DAMN good movie. And I plan on buying it on DVD soon. Ate dinner, which was startling similar to Thanksgiving dinner...then realized that I was unable to take her home and stay for a while. Fucking parents. Her mother...is...I don't know. Just...not a good mother. But tomorrow I go shopping, and Friday, if I can get off of work, I spend the day with her. Yes. Yay.
current mood: aggravated
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
|
2:11 am
|
|
|
|
2:10 am
|

What kind of goth are you? Take it here!
You probably either think you're a vampire or admire vampires. Some people make fun of your stereotypical goth style, but a lot are pretty intimidated by you. You act depressed a lot of the time and you apparently "long" for death but the truth is you're too scared to live your life to the fullest. Sure, life gets crappy, but there's no guarantee that the afterlife [or lack thereof] is any better. Cheer up and live, it won't kill you. Wait... I shouldn't have said that? Oh, yea, and you hate vampire roleplayers probably. Either that or you are one.
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Friday, December 20th, 2002
|
|
12:01 am
|
I...didn't realize that it was so close to Christmas...
Or that I had such broad shoulders.
I bought a coat, and new shoes today, I had to get a huge ass coat, because my shoulders are so broad. Also, I got the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and The Hobbit...and 4 video games...
Christmas.
Wow.
I work 5 days in a row, starting tomorrow. Including Christmas Eve. If I were in school I'd have that week off. Hnn. Christmas...I'm most likely going to have Christmas dinner with Amanda's family. My mom refuses to go. Damn childish woman.
current mood: irritated
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Thursday, December 19th, 2002
|
|
1:42 am
|
MP3 #1 is Aoi no Tsuki - Outlaw Star MP3 #100 is Dir en Grey - Embryo MP3 #200 is Gackt - Mizerable MP3 #300 is Janne Da Arc - Red Zone MP3 #400 is Legolgel - Melody Ending MP3 #500 is Penicillin - Chaos MP3 #600 is SADS - Crackers Baby MP3 #700 is Wyse - Countless Trigger MP3 #727 is Zigzo - Tonight I will fall
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
1:08 am Several...many thing
|
#1. Work. Is. Hell. I worked 5 days in a row, then had one day off, which I spent with Amanda, who was in full bitch mode, then worked another day. I have tomorrow off, and then I work for another ridiculous amount of time.
#2. I finally got around to watching Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings.Damn good movie. Only took me a year to watch it.
#3. I've been very stressed lately, due to work and stuff, I've been sleeping a lot more...and even Red Bull hasn't been making me perky. Also, I think I'm getting a cold sore.
#4. I'm getting amazingly fat. I've really, really got to stop eating. My work clothes arn't fitting correctly...
(on a side note...there's a really hot lesbian on Jerry Springer)
#5. I've finally made a consious desicion that I am going to college. With the help of Amanda and Eric. Amanda - Oh, and dispite what you're thinking, you're going to college, either Oakland University, or Oakland Community College.
#6. Dispite the stresses as of late. I'm actually pretty happy.
#7. The bus schedule at work said "Bus transport will end December 31st at 9pm, and will resume January 2, 2203." That's a hell of a break....
current mood: awake
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|
Monday, December 16th, 2002
|
|
1:02 am
|
|
|
Saturday, December 14th, 2002
|
|
9:37 pm
|
|
|
Friday, December 13th, 2002
|
|
7:37 pm
|
Hnn. Seems I was wrong. hide's birthday is today...
Dispite my idiocy.
I love you hide.
current mood: stupid
|
|
(scratch your number)on my electric cucumber
|
|